The story of Day 14 really begins on the evening of Day 13,
with packing and other preparations for the journey home. In spite of hours of
online research before the trip, I was never able to come up with a definitive
answer to my question of how much alcohol
is it “okay” to bring back in my checked luggage?. As far as I could tell
there was no limit imposed by the airlines or the federal government (but
anything over 140 proof is considered a hazardous material and not allowed on
the plane). Of course you can bring back one bottle duty free, I think up to a
value of $800. You are supposed to pay duty on additional bottles; however
that’s only 3%. I saw references to a federal excise tax, but never saw a rate
for that. Then I read that individual states might have limits on how much
alcohol can be transported into them – good luck finding that info for wherever
you happen to be flying into. I also saw references to the possibility of
bringing back too much and raising suspicion that it is for commercial purposes
– an annoyingly vague warning. I decided to buy what I wanted, keeping the
weight limit of our checked bags in mind, then declare everything and roll the
dice with customs. I had heard rumors that they don’t like to bother with all
the paperwork unless it is for a small number of high value items, and will
often wave people through with their declared items.
Needless to say, my father and I ended up with a lot of
Scotch at the end of two weeks. How much? Five 70cl bottles, one 35cl bottle,
seven 20cl bottles, and forty-nine miniatures! Much of my last evening in Scotland was
spent carefully securing this precious cargo with an assortment of neoprene
bottle totes, bubble wrap, packing tape, paper towels and zip-loc bags. Oh, and
we acquired 10 glasses along the way at various distillery tours – one more
thing to worry about breaking. All of this was carefully spread across 3
checked bags and meticulously integrated into our dirty laundry. Fortunately I
had brought my digital hanging scale with me - 2 pieces of luggage ended up
within a few pounds of the weight limit and the third had maybe 8 pounds of
extra capacity.
The stress of packing and determining the values of items I
would be declaring had taken its toll on me - I snuck out of the B&B and
scurried across the street to the Fiddler’s Inn
for a drink. With two hits of the Longrow 7yr Gaja Barolo and a 10yr Springbank,
I managed to liberate my pockets of all the annoying UK coinage I had accumulated over
two weeks, and put myself in a happy place before bed.
Day 14 should have been nothing more than breakfast followed
by a 2 ½ hour drive to Glasgow,
but I had a bit of unfinished business to tend to. I was blaming Day 1 sleep
deprivation and the visions of how many rare bottlings I would want to buy during
the trip, but I still had regrets about not picking up a bottle of the
Glengoyne Teapot Dram when I had the chance, just a few hours after arriving in
the country. Well, that could all be rectified with a slight detour on the way
to the airport. It only added 30 minutes to the drive after all. The GPS led me
back to the bottle I was longing for, and I carefully inserted it into our
least heavy piece of luggage.
As we chased the sun across the Atlantic,
I mentally prepared to explain the copious amount of single malt in my
possession to the customs officials at my destination. But that event never
came to pass; our flight out of Glasgow was
delayed by three hours, causing us to miss our connection in London. We caught a flight to Boston that left two
hours after the one we were supposed to be on, but out checked bags didn’t keep
up with us. It wasn’t much of an issue getting through customs with our luggage
sitting in London.
Our liquid hoard was delivered to us 24 hours after we got home. The suitcases
looked dry and weren’t emitting any wonderful aromas - yes, everything made it
through intact! I had no idea if the customs officials had looked through our
luggage and I really didn’t care, I was home and I had my whisky.
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